January 10, 2011

A Writer's Life - Careful ... you may not end up in my novel

Alright. I admit it. I always found the line “Careful or you may end up in my novel” funny. Not so much because I actually use it on people who annoy me, but instead due to the fact that no one in my vicinity needs to worry about being too much of a pain in the ass to risk ending up in one of my novels.

Granted, if I were a chick lit writer I could have some fun in making room for certain men in my life. Men that no longer are in my life, to be exact. But even if, you will surly have read it all before. The rejected, the betrayed, the stalked. You name it. Admittedly though the one about the guy who turned from Mr. Nice into Mr. My-Fortune-Teller-Told-Me-Not-To-Give-Up-On-You has some entertainment value. Anyway. What it all boils down to is that A) I am not writing romance novels or chick lit and B) I have a not so enviable track record thanks to some kind of built-in nut job magnet.

But seriously. I never really thought about incorporating real life people into my works. Neither their personality nor their looks. Neither their quirks nor their names. I really hope no one is going to be disappointed about this revelation. But maybe a few are just utterly relieved. You're welcome.

Of course it might still happen that someone thinks a certain character might or even must be about them. The name starts with the same letter as their own name and they drive the same car and laugh about that particularly strange joke which no on else could possibly find funny, only them and them alone. I swear, these are simple coincidences. Really.

Except ... you. Yes, you. You know who you are. You've got that special place in my life. You're going to be so very sorry for the things you once said, the things you never did and honey, I know things you don't know, and while I could tell them to you, I will just sit back and relax, enjoying the show. And the whole world is going to read about it. Burn baby burn. Ha. Just kidding. Then again ...

Ok. I'm not saying that I will never ever honor anyone with basing a character on them. Who knows? I guess I would point it out in the preface though. Until then, you're safe. But maybe that is just what I want you to believe.


  1. If one of your characters has a name that starts with a vowel, has two dogs (any breed) and has ever driven a blue car- I'll know it's me! :) LOL!
    I actually really like the 'you're not interesting enough to be in my book!'.

  2. Well ... you never know, do you? And who's to say I can't be more, uhm, subtle in describing someone? Or would the mutt with a blue leash and a dog tag with the letter "A" engraved on it be still too obvious?

  3. I am doing that now (writing real people to my story) but I change their names. Kind of like how the character in THE HELP wrote a story based on the experiences of the maids but didn't use real names. The only difference is the whole story line is fiction