July 4, 2011

A Writer's Life - My Reality Show

Here's me thinking if super models and cops, or people who sew or tattoo, or generally people who think they're a celebrity, can have their own reality shows, why not writers too? Actually there are quite a few arguments why this show would probably be cancelled after the first three episodes ...

- No one wants to watch you just sitting on your butt for hours on end, mumbling incoherent stuff to yourself while typing away, breaking out in random laughter or sobs, and banging your head on the keyboard. This might be interesting to watch for a psychologist who studies hermit behavior, but will probably not thrill the general audience.

- Writers usually don't invest hours and hours in choosing their wardrobe and putting on make-up to look like, uhm, the kind of blown up barbie dolls that giggle 24/7 on your typical reality show. Granted, we might giggle occasionally too, but usually we won't let our barely covered boobs bounce up and down when we do so.

- That said, be aware that with spending the days in front of the computer often translates into wearing pajamas that are several sizes too big. Add a ponytail to keep those greasy strands from falling into our eyes. There is only so much time for personal hygiene when we experience a creative boost.

- We don't talk much when we do the things we do. Apart from the above mentioned mumbling of course. In fact, the only dialogues that can be heard are actually all in our mind, thus only heard by ourselves. That makes evesdroping kind of hard. In other words, it would be more or less a silent movie kind of show.

- Our favorite hangout is the local coffeeshop. Cozy, nice and clean. Compared to nightclubs which are usually neither cozy, nor nice, and don't even get me started on clean. And once again we just sit there, type away, maybe indulge in some people watching. Unless our coffee is spiked chances are we won't start to pounce on our cute waiter or start to strip to our underwear.

- Equally the only nightlife we participate in is singing our kids to sleep, trying to ignore the snoring of our significant other or, in lack of either of these, we might snuggle up with a teddy bear the whole night and simple get a good night's sleep. If there is a party going on then probably at our neighbors across the street who're celebrating their retirement, but not here.

- We don't do drugs. Unless obscene amounts of chocolate count. And when we rush to the bathroom it's because we need to relieve ourselves after all the coffee we had, not to powder *cough* our little noses.

- Things might get steamy on the computer screen, but we certainly don't have a new affair with another show participant each week. We might harbor crushes, but only on yummy (wo)men we write into our novels. Other than that we only love our significant other, or our teddy bear, depending on who shares our bed.

- We actually respect the work of other writers and even encourage each other. A little bit of envy only motivates us to try even harder to make our stories great. The bottom line though - no cat fights over who's got the bigger, uhm, books.

Still feel like a reality show about a writer could be a potential hit?
Try to convince me in the comments!


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  2. not all writers are coffee drinkers!

  3. Dona, I would at least watch the pilot if that show were like the one you described :-D !!

    Now that you mention it, Amy, I'm not a coffee drinker either ;-P !